's & 
's's & 's
Q: Do I seriously jump from character to character too much?
A: (Casey) Nah. Just look at me! I switch between myself and four other characters
all the time!
Q: Does everybody laugh at me because I have a Road Rover who is a
friend and happens to be a Power Ranger?
A: (Talia) Ummm...not that I know of. And if anybody does, they're just plain mean, and they
must not know you.
Q: Which Vulcan was better? Tuvok or Spock?
A: (Cero) Spock's the man!
Q: Doesn't Chekov have the most cutest Russian accent?
A: (Talia) Oh yeah. Hee hee. Well...so does Exile...~grins~
Q: A real man isn't afraid to scream, right?
A: (Derv) Sure! But just because real men aren't afraid of screaming doesn't
mean that they do it too often, or like it much. ~grins~
Q: Why does Mr. Famodu make his science class learn all of the
periodic table? Doesn't he know us freshman have no brain cells??
A: (Talia) Actually, it's a rule that all Freshman Science teachers have to be
evil. ~shrugs~ Just another one of those rules. And making a freshman learn all the
elements on the periodic table *definetely* qualifies one for being evil.
Q: Why do all horror movies have a magic bat?
A: (Cero) A magic bat? Huh? I don't know...
Q: Would I be a better Bloosom, Buttercup, or Bubbles?
A: (Derv) Ummmm...Oh, this is a tough one...Ah...I'll just say Blossom, 'cause I don't
really know for sure...
Q: Where is the zone that normal stuff barely ever happens?
A: (Casey) Right on the corner of 'Know-Your-Role Boulevard' and 'Jabroni Drive'. Wait...no...that's the
Smack-Down Hotel. Sorry. Well, I don't know then. Sorries.
Q: Did you know that Jessie and James are really Ash's parents?
A: (Cero) What!? Dude, that's weird. I don't think I even wanna know where that came from.
Q: Your page is so stuff, did you know that?
A: (Derv) ~blink~ Ummm...yes?
(Val) You don't even know what 'stuff' means, do you?
(Derv) Well....no. But judging from what I've seen on Stary and Elista's pages, I'm
assuming it's a good thing. ~grins~ I hope so, at least.
Q: I'm using "did you know that" alot, aren't I?
A: (Talia) Did you know that I knew that you were saying 'did you know that' a lot, a lot?
(Derv) What? I didn't catch any of that one...
Q: I have too much free time on my hands, don't I?
A: (Cero) Ummm...yeah, I'd say so.
(Casey) Since you have so much free time, why don'tcha start writing that story and
send it to me? Huh Stary? Huh, huh? Why don'tcha?
Q: Define the word pikaspiffy.
A: (Derv) ~looks in dictionary~ Hmmm...lesse here...
pikaspiffy: [adj] (pe-ka'spiff-e) The act or quality of being really cool and spiffy-like.
Also see: Pokemon catch-phrases; the bums' catch-phrases.
(Derv) I swear that's what the dictionary says! Except for a couple of grammatical marks, that is.
Q: Val, when you take over the world do I get James/Dimitri breaks?
A: (Cero) Just remember that you already gave Spirit Thursdays off...
(Val) Yeah, I know, I know! Besides, I wouldn't be so cruel as to make somebody miss Dimitri or
James. Jeez. What kind of a monster do you think I am?!
(Talia) So this means you *are* going to take over the world then.
(Val) Uh...~looks around nervously~ Umm...no?
Q: Why does Ricky always zap me!?
A: (Derv) Maybe he's abusing his pika-powers! ~laughs~
Q: Why do these people insist on sticking my tail in the electrical
outlet after tricking me into putting the lampshade on my head?
A:(Talia) Umm...because the...uh...light on the ceiling burned out and nobody has a
replacement?
Q: Do you want tickets to a super deluxe sea cruuuuiiiiissse?
A: (everybody) Yeahyeahyeah!
(Derv) We really need a vacation!
(Val) Mmm-hmm. This question answering is really hard on a person.
(Talia) Val, you're a machine! You don't *get* tired!
(Val) Oh...good point. But I'm sure the rest of you get tired.
(Cero) Well...actually...no we don't. Answering questions really isn't all that
tough.
(Derv) Yep. Sorry Val. But...can we have the tickets anyways?
Q: Does that light in the refrigerator go off when you shut the
door?
A: (Cero) Well yes, in fact it does. Pretty kewl, eh?
Q: If it's called a pot pie, why isn't it in a pot?
A: (Val) Oo, the world will never know...Well, I know, but I'm not gonna
tell.
(Cero) Why not! That's what the page is for!
(Val) Some things are not meant to be know, Cero.
Q: Who do you prefer: Wynton Marsalis or Doc Severinsen?
A: (Casey) Well...uh...I can't really answer that one, seeing as though I haven't
heard either one of them...
(Talia) Shame on you! The people want an answer!
(Casey) Fine! I prefer...uh...Rammstein! Yeah. That's it...
Q: The Boston Pops or the Cincinnati Pops?
A: (Derv) Judging from the look of bewilderment on Casey's face, I'm guessing his answer's
gonna be 'Rammstein' again.
(Casey) You know me way too well Derv. Rammstein!
Q: Jambalaya or gumbo?
A: (Talia) Rammstein?
~Casey nods~ (Casey) Rammstein.
Q: Pizza or chili dogs?
A: (Casey) Oh! This one I can answer! Pizza all the way!
Q: Doesn't John Williams write cool movie music? (He wrote the
music for Star Wars, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Jurassic Park, Superman,
E.T., and most recently, Saving Private Ryan)
A: (Derv) Come on! Give us *some* credit here. We know who John Williams is. ~grins~
(Val) Yeah. Jeez.
(Talia) Oh give it a rest you guys. It's just a question.
(Cero) Yeah, I guess. So...I guess the answer would be 'yes, he does'.
(Talia) Mmm-hmm.
Q: Will you tell me what the heck it is with two-year-olds that they
are so infatuated with the toilet bowl?
A: (Val) Well, we could, but then you'd know...
(Cero) Val, you never actually *answer* any questions, do you?
(Val) I'm sure I've answered a couple...
Q: Doesn't the name Pikachu sound like peek-at-you?
A: (Talia) Hmmm....Pikachu....Pikachu...
(Cero) Pikachu?
(Val) Pikachu!
(Derv) Oh, I'm sure Star's lovin' this. ~grins~ Pikachu!
(Casey) Well...judging from the sound of all of them sayin' 'Pikachu', I'd have to agree
with you. It *does* sorta sound like peek-at-you. Not too much, though...
Q: What is your destiny in life?
A: (Derv) Didn't we answer a question like this before?
(Talia) I think so...but what the heck.
(Val) I think it was something like, "to make you people out there laugh, or at least
chuckle quietly in your head."
(Cero) Yeah, something like that. I don't think our destiny has changed much since then...
Q: Don't you think Cowboys are better than Sooners? (I do. OSU
COWBOYS RULE! OU SOONERS SUCK!)
A: (Casey) Considering that if I say that the Sooners are better you'll most likely
hunt me down and do something...very unpleasant to me, I'll just agree with ya. ~grin~
(Derv) Casey, you're such a wuss.
(Casey) ~shrugs~ Eh.
Q: Who do you think is going to win the World Series?
A: (Talia) Rockies all the way!
Q: Do you know that Judge Judy beat out Jerry Springer for
Queen of daytime TV?
A: (Val) Uh...no. I didn't know that. It's not gonna make me watch her
show, though. I mean, there're no chair fights!
(Derv) Preach on, Val!
Q: Why does Springer do shows about crappy things like "I refuse to
wear clothes," "Guess what? I'm cheating!," "My aunt ate my
goldfish!," etc.?
A: (Talia) Two sylables: Ra-tings.
Q: Are you a redneck? (Tell the truth!)
A: (Casey) ~sigh~ I thought we answered this one already.
(Derv) Well, we'll just reiterate the point then. We're *not* rednecks!
(Talia) Nope. Sorry.
Q: How come the burgers at McDonalds never look as neat or as good
as the ones in the pictures?
A: (Derv) I'll tell you, but you've gotta keep it a secret...It's because...
~dramatic pause~
Because those burgers in the pictures are actually...
~dramatic pause~
Made out of Play Dough!!!
~camera zooms in on Blitz's face, with his mouth hanging open in shock. That 'bum-bum-bummm' music plays. (Ala
SGC2C, the Metallica episode! Remember? Eh? Eh? Aw, forget it...)~
Q: Why do girls not prefer men with stubby tails?
A: (Casey) Talia, care to field this one?
(Talia) Sure, why not. Hmm...~thinks~ I don't know. Probably because they don't have large,
fluffy tails!
(Derv) ~hopeful~ Like me?
(Talia) ~sigh~ Sure. Why not.
Q: Will that be paper or plastic?
A: (Cero) Dude, these hard questions really get to ya after a while...
(Val) Yeah, I know...
(Talia) So what are we gonna say?
(Derv) ~nervously~ Uh....plastic? I sure hope it's plastic...
(Casey) What the heck are you guys all nervous about!? He just wants to know if it's paper
or plastic! Geez! ~shakes head~
(Val) But!---
(Casey) No buts!
Q: Bababooey?
A: (Val) Boo-Boo Ba-Ba Dee-Dee! Boo-Boo Ba-Ba Dee-Dee!
(Derv) Oh geez...That's all you could think up?
(Val) ~shrugs~
Q: Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
A: (Talia) Ummm...no...I don't think so.
(Derv) Well, if we do, he's not in the fridge.
Q: Is your refrigerator running?
A: (Val) It ran away once. But I caught it and beat it down!
(Cero) Oh yeah. You *really* know how to show home appliances who's boss.
Q: Why is a toilet called a John?
A: (Talia) What!? Didn't you *ever* watch Robin Hood: Men in Tights!?
(Derv) Some people. Tsk...
Q: Do you like the Animaniacs?
A: (Val) Well sure we do!
Q: Which is better: the Concorde or the Queen Elizabeth 2?
A: (Derv) I'd have to go with the Concorde on this one.
(Val) You don't even know what the Queen Elizabeth 2 is, do you? You're just saying the
Concorde so you don't look like an idiot!
(Derv) ~meekly~ So?
Q: Star Wars or Star Trek?
A: (Casey) Both, silly!
Q: Horse racing or auto racing? (Please say horse racing!)
A: (Cero) Sorry dude, but auto racing. I mean, at least you don't have to wait
3 hours before each race. Unfortunately, you have to sit and watch a bunch of cars
race left around a track for auto racing...
(Talia) Suffice to say, we'd both much rather watch Arena Football, or anything else for that
matter, than most any forms of racing. ~shrugs~ Sorry.
Q: The Kentucky Derby or the Indianapolis 500?
A: (Val) Indy 500, I'd have to say. Unless I've got some good odds on the horseraces...
Q: Eskimo Joe's (Hey, that's in Stillwater, OK!) or Hard Rock Cafe?
A: (Casey) Nans!
(Derv) Huh?
(Casey) It's a little family owned Italian joint in Minneapolis. Great stuff, I tell ya.
(Derv) Yeah, but that wasn't in the question.
(Casey) So? I've never been to either of 'em. I can't really answer it truthfully.
Q: Dr. Pepper or Coca-Cola?
A: (Cero) Umm...Both, I guess. Just depends on whatever's cheaper.
Q: Why don't you ever update your "The MAN!" page?
A: (Casey) Because...umm...well, because I'm lazy. ~laughs~ I really haven't thought about
it much. Plus, I haven't really thought about any more people to go in it.
Q: Do you like me?
A: (Val) Sure! You keep on sending us questions!
Q: Does it make sense to put up a "DIP" sign two inches before you get to the dip?
A: (Derv) Oh, probably not.
(Cero) But it doesn't stop people from putting them there anyway, does it?
: Has there ever been a time when you really wanted revenge?
A: (Derv, Talia, Cero, and Val) ~all nod~
Q: What kind of car (or truck) would you like?
A: (Derv) Well, for one, I'd like a hover-bike that doesn't smart off all the time!
(Val) Heh. Like *that* will ever happen.
(Casey) I want a Dodge Ram, and a Motorcycle! Maybe a Valkyrie...Oh, and don't forget a Viper, just for cruisin'. ~grins~
Q: Aren't mothers beautiful?
A: (Everyone) ~nods~
Q: Do you have a grandfather?
A: (Casey) Well, I had two, but one died. So logically, that would leave one.
Q: How can a grandfather hold your attention for a long time?
A: (Derv) ~thinks~ Silly stories about your parents?
Q: Why do cats sit on your sofa, shed, and make you sneeze?
A: (Casey) *MY* cats don't make me sneeze! ~smiles~
Q: Why do I ask silly questions?
A: (Talia) Probably for the sole reason of seeing these stupid answers!
: Wanna hear a song?
A: (Derv) Sure!
Q: Too bad! I love beans. Woowoowoo! I love beans! How 'bout you?
A: (Derv) ~looks sad~ Aaw, I was hoping for a song! ~evil grin~ What? Embarassed aboutcher singin' voice Stary?
(Cero) Aw, hush up Derv. Anyway, some of us like beans...Depends on how they're served, and what kind of beans.
(Derv) ~gives Cero an odd look~ You don't watch Cartoon Planet much, do you?
(Cero) ~looks very confused~
(Derv) ~sigh~ Just forget it. Yeah! We love beans! Over here, we sometimes have Beans and Franks day! Hooooooey! Y'gotta...y'gotta open the windows after one of those, let me tell ya.
Q: They're high in fiber, low in fat. Hey, I bet you didn't know that!
A: (Talia) Well, you're right! We *didn't* know that!
(Val) I knew it!
(Talia) ~rolls her eyes~ Well, that's 'cause you're a computer, Val. You know lots of stuff that nobody cares about!
(Val) Oh...right---Hey!
Q: One time I hired a monkey to take notes for me in class....
A: (Derv) Damn, I did the same thing once! I had it write notes for me, and write me an essay. When I got it back, I got an 'F' on it, 'cause it was like, "Oo oo! I like bananas! Eeep eep!" ~shakes head~ 'S like momma always told me: "Never trust a monkey to do your homework!"
(Val) Umm...Derv? You don't know if you have a mom.
(Derv) ~waves it off~ That's beside the point.
Q: That wasn't a question, was it?
A: (Derv) Huh? ~blinks~ I lost my train of thought there. What was the question again?
Q: Don't tell mama what you saw, okay?
A: (Cero) Huh?
(Derv) ~pushes Cero aside~ Only for five dollars!
Q: Elista says Dan is the ULTIMATE man! And that he's the stuffiest! What do you think about that?
A: (Derv) Well, I'd have to say that Elista is perfectly right! Dan *is* the man!
Q: Why do men constantly beat each other in greeting?
A: (Val) What do you mean? I've got no idea what you're talking about!
~in background Cero walks into the room, and Derv punches him in the gut and says, "Hiya Cero!"~
Q: Wave to my dog or I will beat you all down!
A: (Everyone) ~waves to Stary's dog~
(Talia) Hey, aren't *you* a dog Star?
(Derv) ~rolls eyes~ Don't go there, Hawk.
(Casey) Hey, everybody! Quick, wave to the cat! Wave to the cat!!! I swear, he's gonna bite me and scratch me
if he doesn't get some attention, and quick!
(Everybody) ~nobody moves, then everybody starts laughing at Casey~
(Casey) Oh, you'll pay for this everyone!
Q: I apologize, that was mean sounding, wasn't it?
A: (Derv) Well, just a tad.
(Cero) Hey, it's not that time of---
(Derv) ~VERY quickly grabs Cero's muzzle, silencing him~ Heh heh...~grins nervously at Star~
Q: I love you all. I felt you should know that.
A: (Derv) Aaaw, thanks! ~blushes~ We all love you too!
Q: Did somebody say James? I distinctly heard that name!
A: (Talia) ~looks around quickly~ Oh god...Please, for goodness sakes, let it be that no one said his name...She's gonna freak!
(Derv) ~raises hand~ I said it! But...I don't really know why. I just felt like saying it, that's all.
Q: Am I the only one who supports Team Rocket here?
A: (Derv) Pfft! Are you kidding? Of course not! Right guys? .....Guys?
~everybody has suddenly disappeared~
(Derv) Whoah...dude, I thought they liked 'em...Well at least *I* like 'em! 'Cept for Jessie, sometimes. She's just a bit---
(Casey) ~interupting~ Heeeey, that's all the time we have for this question, folks!
Q: Why's the eyeball on your page so squishy?
(Derv) It takes it's vitamins!
Q: Do you like peaches?
(Val) Well of course we do! Who doesn't?
(Cero) Umm...~raises hand~
(Val) What!? You don't like peaches?
(Cero) ~shrugs~ Not really.
(Val) ~looks shocked~ Geez! That's just not right!
But...but! There are millions of them! Millions of peaches! And they're all for me!
(Cero) Shut up! You're gonna get us sued Val!
Q: Pineapples?
(Cero) Now those I like.
Q: If you were any slice of meat what would it be?
(Derv) ~thinks~ Umm...I'd be a big ol' piece of salami!
(Val) Smoked ham!
(Cero) I seriously don't see the validity of this question.
(Talia) I'm just shocked that those two actually answered it...
Q: What's 7 + 9?
(Derv) Pfft! 79, stupid!
(Talia) ~puts her head in her hands~
Q: Have you ever yelled Rootie Poo?
(Casey) Well, I've yelled "Roodie Poo" a couple of times...
(Val) Why would you do that?
(Casey) It's kinda a spirit of the moment deal.
Q: Rap or Rock?
(Derv) ~bursts out laughing~ You're asking *me*!?
(Val) You don't come around here much, do you?
Q: Who's the Ginchy Boss Groove thang on this page?
(Casey) What the *hell* did you just say?
(Everyone) ~points to Casey, since they've got no idea what a Ginchy Boss Groove thang is~
(Casey) Hey, shut up you guys!
Q: What's new in the life of the Dervster?
(Derv) Whoah! Dudes, look! 'S a *question* question!
(Val) That's amazing! We haven't gotten one of those in ages!
(Talia) Yeah...I don't even think I've been around for one.
(Derv) Well, here goes, I guess! ~thinks~ Well...umm...Not much, actually. ~shrugs~
(Talia) ~smacks Derv upside the head~ Come on! Think up something! We don't get these often, y'know!
(Derv) ~rubs head~ Geez, fine! ~rolls eyes~ Sheesh. Well....I hear Casey is looking for a lady for me to be paired with...
(Talia) Hey! What about me? I'm a lady!
(Derv) ~gives Talia a cruel look~ Can you seriously picture you and me together, Hawk?
(Talia) ~tries to picture it, then bursts out laughing~ Oh! Ha ha! Hoo boy, that's a good one...
(Derv) ~sticks tongue out at Talia~ Yeah, thanks a lot. Anyway, that's one thing. I'm apparently staring with Dawn in a fanfic of Casey's, that he hasn't told you about. Oh, and there're a couple other stories that he should be working on featuring me and other fan rovers, but isn't. Other than that, I've just been hanging around on ICQ a bunch...Oh! Wait! Derv's also in a couple stories that *other* people wrote!
(Cero) ~is shocked~ You've gotta be kidding me!
(Derv) ~looks proud~ Yeah, I know! Isn't it amazing? After a year and a half online, I'm *finally* getting in some fanfics! Pretty spiffy, eh?
(Val) Are any of us in the stories?
(Derv) Naw, I don't think so...Sorry guys.
(Cero and Val) ~snap fingers~ Drat. Oh well.
Q: Can we see more Jerry?
(Talia) Jerry, as in Jerry Springer? ~blinks~
(Derv) I dunno...~thinks~ If you're talking about Springer stories, then sorry. I haven't seen any written in quite a while. I've seen a lot of stories with Jerry-esque violence, but no official Jerry stories.
(Talia) And if you're talking about something else, then...well, we have no idea what you're talking about. ~smiles~
Q: Will I stop asking these?
(Cero) ~puts finger up to muzzle~ Mmmm....I'm guessing: 'Nope'.
Q: Is Ernest Miller really the greatest? If so why did Disco Inferno beat him in a dance contest?
(Casey) No, the Cat is not the greatest. Neither is Disco. ~thinks~ Hmm...if you followed this line of reasoning, we could come to the conclusion that...
(Val) WCW sucks?
(Casey) ~puts his finger on his nose~ Bingo. 'Course...they *do* have some OK guys...Ah well. Hey, at least Jericho went over to WWF. Maybe the rest'll get a clue...
(Val) Not likely, Case.
Q: Why would you have a dance contest in a wrestling federation?
(Val) ~ahem~ See my above statement regarding WCW.
Q: Why would some guy name himself Disco Inferno?
(Cero) Was he on crack at the time?
(Derv) ~laughs~ Hey, I wouldn't be surprised.
Q: Why is he stuck in the 70's?
(Talia) Well, it must bring the paychecks in....
Q: Why....did my brain just go pop and now it's starting to sizzle?
(Val) Waffles?
(Casey) What!? Waffles? What the hell kind of an answer is 'waffles'!?
(Val) ~shrugs~ Well, it seemed like a good enough answer at the time...
Q: Which came first the chicken or the egg?
(Derv) Oh-ho-ho! We're not getting sucked into that one!
Q: Talia, will we see you in any upcoming fanfics? You is one pretty lady!
(Talia) ~smiles~ Why thank you! In fact I will be in at least one fanfic pretty soon...
(Derv) Yeah! Me 'n' her get to go blow up stuff! ~high fives Talia~
(Cero and Val) Hey! Why aren't *we* in any fanfics!? Why does she get special privilages?
(Talia) ~looks nervous~ Uh...next question please!
Q: Why is cheese funny?
(Casey) Because the cheese came to this page, and learned *how* to be funny!