~over cheering audience~

-Jim-

"Hello, fans! And welcome to another action packed edition of 'Rover Deathmatch!' The show where we pit your favorite Road Rovers against each other in a no-holds-barred, no disqualification fight to the smiley-face battle! I’m Jim King, and right next to me here is the one and only Bob Bobovich!"

-Bob-

"That's right, Jim! Now, we've taken various Rovers out of their normal daily routines to fight for your enjoyment."

"The rules are simple: The contestants will be put into a large room. They can and will do almost anything to knock their opponents unconscious long enough to draw a smiley face on their foreheads with the special golden marker hidden somewhere in the arena."

-Jim-

"To accomplish this, the combatants must hit each other with special snack foods. Once a contestant is hit with one snack food (Twinkies, ho-ho's, cupcakes, etc.), they will get a bit weaker and more tired. After two hits, they will be very weak and tired."

-Bob-

"The third hit will knock them unconscious for one minute. If a snack is ingested or otherwise put into the body somehow (i.e. up the nose or ears) the person will fall unconscious immediately for two minutes."

-Jim-

"Folks, tonight we have a real treat for you. On this evening, we are going to one up the usual one-on-one match that usually takes place in this program. In an attempt to make the show more exciting tonight, we've decided to host a Battle Royal!"

~audience gasps~

-Bob-

"In case you don't know what a Battle Royal is, let me explain. A Battle Royal is a match in which many people, as opposed to just two, are put into the same arena to fight. Tonight, we will pit twelve Rovers against each other at once!"

~audience cheers louder than before~

-Jim-

"There is a special new rule to go with this kind of match. Since there is only one golden marker in the ring, and so many Rovers, when knocked out, the combatants will stay unconscious for five minutes, as opposed to one. Now, with that over with, let's meet our contestants. Entering the arena first is Jeffrey Daniel Caninus.

-Bob-

Jeff is a very strong fighter. His strength is legendary in the villain community."

-Jim-

"And how might you know this, perchance?"

-Bob-

"Ummmm…never mind that. He's also a tremendous athlete. He uses this attribute in many of his attacks. Now, his strength can be a bad thing. In a match like this, it's not really the speed at which the food comes at you, but how well you can dodge it. I don't look for Jeff to do too well in a match of this type."

-Jim-

"I don't know, with his stamina and athletic abilities, I'd say he'll go pretty far."

-Bob-

"We'll see, I guess."

-Jim-

"Yes, we will. Our next combatant is Spirit Pupperoni McMutts. I look for Spirit to go very far in this match. Maybe even all the way."

-Bob-

"Trained in the art of Twinkie offense and defense by none other than Muzzle, she is truly a force to be reckoned with."

-Jim-

"Next entering the ring is the newcomer, Dylan. This is his first Rover Deathmatch appearance, so don't expect him to go too far."

-Bob-

"That's right, Jim, inexperience is gonna be a huge disadvantage for him. We'll see how he copes with that disadvantage in a few minutes."

"Entering the ring at this time is another newcomer to the Rover Deathmatch circuit, Penny Dalmatian. She's the leader of the covert operations group, the Ranger Rovers, so that should be a bit of a help. But again, I expect inexperience will take its toll on Penny."

-Jim-

"I agree wholeheartedly, Bob."

"Next up in the arena is Ricky Galahad. One of his main advantages is his heightened senses. These allow him to sense danger from behind very well. It's been said that he can't be surprised from the back. Now, he's a good all-around fighter, but he really doesn't like fighting."

-Bob-

"That's right, Jim. In some recorded RD's (short for Rover Deathmatches) he has simply refused to fight. Go figure. However, if he does start to fight, expect some interesting things to happen."

-Jim-

"Alright. Coming up now is one of the creators of this sport, Muzzle Rottweiler! Now, he uses an in-your-face type of attack that's very effective against one opponent. However, we have yet to see how he'll fare in a battle royal."

-Bob-

"And showing up now in the arena is Muzzle's arch-rival, Dervish Vagabond! He likes to use various weapons and gymnastic moves to try and get opponents off guard. With an uncanny sense of tactics, he's one of the favorites for this match."

-Jim-

"Yes, that's right. All I can really say is that you never really know what's in that trench coat of his. Except, of course, for the remote..."

-Bob-

"Well, entering the ring now is one of the crowd favorites, Hunter. Leader of the Road Rovers, he is one of the main threats in this match."

-Jim-

"Mmmm-hmmm. He has used his blinding-fast speed to great advantage in previous RDs. But I'm wondering how effective his speed will be in the face of so many opponents."

-Bob-

"Good point, Jim. And also, how effective do you think his speed will be against the next combatant, his own sister, Huntress?"

-Jim-

"That's right, Bob. Both of these fighters are incredibly fast, but again, they will have the sheer number of people in the room to worry about. If it were just Hunter and Huntress in the match, I'd say Hunter would win, due to the experience he's gotten leading the Rovers. But, they aren't just against each other...We'll just have to see, I suppose."

-Bob-

"OK, now the next combatant is the one and, thankfully, only Blitz. He’s shown a little bit of promise in RD’s since his start on the circuit, when he would start out seemingly very aggressively, but when first really threatened, would just cower in fear."

-Jim-

"Yup. He’s made a bit of progress from that point in his career. But not much. I wouldn’t expect much from him today, with all the unpredictability associated with a Battle Royal."

"And now getting ready is another newcomer to this form of entertainment, Alethia."

-Bob-

"She’s driven by the memory of her terrible past, and won’t let anything happen to her friends. However, we’ll see how that concept holds up in the Deathmatch Arena."

"And here comes the last combatant to enter the ring, Shooting Star McGermanShepherd! Amazingly, she’s a newcomer to this also."

-Jim-

"That’s right. It’s amazing how many rookies we have fighting in this match…Well, anyway, nobody really knows what’s in Star’s head as it is, let alone when she’s fighting. I guess we’ll see how she does."

-Bob-

"Tonight’s episode of Rover Deathmatch is brought to you by NTR, inc. We’re just taking this time right before the action starts to thank No Thought Required, incorporated for it’s support of all good programming. And now, let’s head down to the arena!"

-Jim-

The camera shifts down to the arena, where all the combatants are eyeing each other, and surveying the arena. Suddenly all the lights go out, as per the Rover Deathmatch tradition of telling the rules in the dark.

-Referee-

Alright Rovers, I want a good match. You all know the rules. Except for all you rookies. Hopefully you’ll pick them up along the way.

-All the rookies-

~groan~

-Referee-

Oh, quit your whining. Now, the last one without a smiley face wins. Let’s do it!

The lights abruptly come back on. We see Dervish already aiming the Dervish Cannon at Muzzle from the hip position, and Muzzle aiming his Seven-Barreled Twinkie Machine Gun at Derv from eye level. Spirit, Hunter, and all the other experienced players are all standing at the ready, waiting for somebody else to make a move. Most of the rookies are just standing there, shocked at the sight of everybody else ready.

-Ricky-

(Sarcastic)

Oh, this is gonna be just great…

-Bob-

Oooo, that probably wasn’t the smartest thing to say. I’m sure some of the other Rovers are a bit mad at him as it is for not competing in some other matches…

A small grin slips onto Derv’s face. Muzzle sees this and slowly flexes the fingers on his trigger hand. As the last finger gets back into position, both Muzz and Derv quickly turn and open fire on Ricky. Unprepared, he gets pelted with about 5 or 6 Twinkies and Ho-ho’s. He falls to the ground, unconscious before he hits the ground. All the other Rovers are stunned for a moment.

-Jim-

Oh my! It seems that little comment has set two of the most dangerous combatants off!

-Bob-

Well, at least there’s some action now. I was afraid that standstill would last forever.

-Jim-

Ah, true enough Bob, true enough.

Now some of the shock has let off, and the other Rovers are getting into action. Alethia quickly runs over to Ricky to make sure he’s all right, while most of the other Rovers hurl snack foods at each other. Only a few hits are scored, on Blitz, Dylan, and Penny.

-Bob-

Fans, I feel we should inform you now that since this is such a large battle, we will not be able to bring you all the action at once. There are just too many Rovers to keep track of all the time. Our cameras can only show you a portion of the action at a time. But, we will try to bring you the best of---wait, something’s happening!

As most of the Rovers scatter to do battle off-screen, the cameras focus on Muzzle and Dervish as they charge each other from opposite sides of the room, screaming loudly.

-Jim-

Well, it looks like these two are set on taking each other out right off the bat.

-Muzzle-

Derv! Slide now!

At this, Dervish falls to his knees and bends backwards, letting his momentum slide him through Muzzle’s legs, and end up in a good firing position on Dylan, Spirit, Star and Blitz. Muzzle now has a good shot at Penny, Alethia, Hunter and Jeff. Both the Sheltie and the insane Rottweiler open fire with their respective weapons, causing the other Rovers to dive for cover, or try to dodge the barrage.

-Bob-

Oooo, Derv has two hits on that one! One on Blitz, and one on Dylan.

-Jim-

I’m watching Muzzle here, and he just hit Alethia twice and Penny once! Can you believe this? We’re witnessing two of the creators of this sport team up back-to-back to get rid of the competition! This is definitely a first for the Rover Deathmatch.

Meanwhile, Spirit is busy dodging snack foods. She’s doing a good job of it, too. Seeing both Dylan and Penny beside her and noticing that they’re both reeling from two hits, she takes action. With a Twinkie in each hand, she crouches and hurls one at each of them.

-Jim-

Look at that! Spirit just knocked both Penny and Dylan out cold! Well, that’s what happens when you’re trained in the art of Twinkie offense and defense.

-Bob-

That’s right, Jim. But look at Star! It looks like she’s going to try and capitalize on Spirit’s current position!

The camera pans out from Spirit to show Star quickly getting a ways behind Spirit and throwing a ding-dong at her. Spirit, however, barely caught sight Star sneaking up on her, and from her crouched position launches herself upwards in a massive backflip, dodging the ding-dong and landing behind an already fleeing Star. Spirit quickly throws a few Twinkies at her, but only connects with one before Star ducks around a corner. She’s about to follow her when Jeff hits her with a Twinkie from behind. Slightly weakened, she runs after Jeff, all thought of Star forgotten.

Meanwhile, the camera switches to Star, who is trying to catch her breath. Then something catcher her eye. She moves towards a box lying open on the floor, and when she looks inside, her eyes light up. Star hastily reaches in and pulls out the golden marker. Seeing Penny lying close to her, she dashes over and quickly draws a smiley face on her forehead, plus her initials. These marks flash brightly for a second, then fade out.

-Star-

All right! But now what am I gonna do? I don’t think I can stand up to all of them out there by myself…

A look of inspiration crosses her face, and then she runs to the nearest wall. She briskly bends over and starts messing around with her shoes.

-Jim-

Wow! It looks like Star found the golden marker! And she’s just put Penny out of commission for good. I wonder what she’s doing with---

-Bob-

Whoa! Switch cameras over to the center of the room! It looks like there’s a fast – and I mean fast – and furious battle starting!

The camera abruptly shifts to the center of the arena, where Muzz and Derv are still fighting back-to-back, but are now trying to keep away from an increasing number of flames that are springing up all around.

-Dervish-

Aw, crap! I’ve got one hit, I’m almost out of ammo, and I just can’t hit those two! How ‘bout you, Muzz?

-Muzzle-

Same ammo situation, same hit situation, but I think I scored a hit on Huntress! We need to do something fast against these two, or we’ll be toast soon…

-Jim-

Things are really heating up now, fans. Just to let you know, after a brief exchange of fire, Jeff finished off Alethia, just before Spirit knocked him out off-camera. It looks like we’re down to Spirit, Dervish, Muzzle, Hunter, Star and Huntress now!

The camera flips over to show Spirit stealthily emerging from behind a corner to try and pick off the others from a distance. Suddenly, she spots Hunter running straight for her at super speed. She quickly lets loose a Twinkie in his direction, while he tosses a cupcake at her. Both shots hit their mark. Hunter quickly zips off, leaving another trail of fire behind him, while Spirit tries to catch her breath. Abruptly, a ding-dong slams into her back. Spirit falls to the ground with a shocked expression on her face.

-Bob-

Oh man, what just happened?! Spirit’s out of it! One of the heavy favorites has been knocked out of the battle! But who did it? I didn’t see anybody!

-Jim-

Hold that thought, Bob. Look at this! It looks like Hunter and Huntress are about to go for each other!

The camera shows both Hunter and Huntress running top-speed for each other, both ready to launch a snack food at one another. Both Muzzle and Dervish are standing a ways back, in anticipation of something big.

From about fifty feet away, both siblings launch food at each other. Because of the ludicrous speeds at which they are running, they are unable to dodge, and both are hit.

-Hunter and Huntress-

Hah! Gotcha!

-Dervish-

Heh. And I’ve got you!

At this, Derv pulls out his whip and cracks it across the room, attaching it to the far wall. He grins and pulls back hard, making an impromptu trip-wire. Since they are going so fast, and are unable to stop in time, both Hunter and Huntress are tripped up hard and go sliding on the floor.

-Muzzle-

Good thinking, Derv! Now let’s go finish them off.

-Bob-

Can you believe what we’ve just witnessed, Jim? We’ve just seen two of the fastest creatures on Earth taken off of their feet by one little flick of a wrist.

-Jim-

I know, Bob. It’s amazing. But, they aren’t out of the running yet. I don’t know if Muzzle and Dervish can finish the job before they get back to their feet. And then they still have Blitz and Star to worry about. We haven’t seen either of them for a while now…

The camera now switches to show Huntress, who has just slid into a wall headfirst.

-Huntress-

Ooh, my aching head…

Suddenly Blitz steps out from a nearby corner. Huntress is a bit shocked.

-Blitz-

Are you all right, pretty girl-dog lady?

-Huntress-

Oh, Blitz! It’s only you. You had me worried there for a moment.

-Blitz-

Denk nichts davon. But you know…If I’m going to have any chance of blessing the winner’s podium with my beautiful self, I’m going to have to get rid of all the competition…

-Huntress-

Oh, you wouldn’t…You can’t! You’re…you’re…you’re Blitz!

-Blitz-

Sorry about this, pretty she-dog.

At this, Blitz takes out a handful of snack foods and tosses them in the air. As Huntress tries to get up, Blitz extends his razor-sharp claws and completely shreds all the food in midair. He then moves out of the way as Huntress gets pelted with a shower of food, and slips into unconsciousness.

-Muzzle-

You know, that wasn’t the nicest thing you could’ve done. ‘Course, neither is this…

-Blitz-

Huh? Wha-?

As Blitz whips around to see what’s going on, he is confronted with a horrifying sight. It’s Muzzle, flying at him with a toothy grin on his face and a Twinkie in his hand. Blitz barely has time to shriek before Muzzle barrels into him and shoves a Twinkie up his nose. Muzzle stands up, slowly backs up and surveys his work.

-Muzzle-

Well, that was satisfying. But, I’ll need to get the golden marker before I can make this official…

-Jim-

Oh my god! Two finishing moves in a row! First Blitz comes out of his hiding spot and executes the ‘Slash Rain’ on Huntress, and then Muzzle slaps the ‘Shove It’ on Blitz! What else could happen here tonight?

-Bob-

Perhaps we’ll find out if we switch cameras over to Dervish and Hunter.

The camera switches over to Hunter, who is slowly getting up. He winces and shakes his head a bit, to try and clear his head. Hunter slowly turns around, only to see Dervish leaning nonchalantly against a wall.

-Hunter-

Oh, hey Derv---

Suddenly remembering where he is, Hunter quickly pulls out a cupcake, and prepares to hurl it. Before he throws it, however, Dervish holds his hand up, stopping Hunter in his tracks.

-Dervish-

Now Hunter, before you go and throw that at me, you should probably take a look behind you.

-Hunter-

What? What are you talking about? I’m not going to turn my back on you---oh no. It can’t be…

Hunter gets a horrified look on his face as Dervish pulls out a small remote control from a pocket in his trench coat. Derv grins smugly.

-Dervish-

You sure you don’t want to turn around?

Hunter slowly turns back around and looks towards the ceiling. As the camera shifts upwards, we see what Hunter is so scared of. It’s a really mean looking Gattling gun, modified to fire ho-hos, that’s just slid out of a hole in the ceiling.

-Dervish-

Hey, don’t hold this against me, Hunter, but I’ve gotta do it.

Dervish then presses a red button on the remote, causing the gun to whir loudly for about a second. Hunter immediately goes flying backwards from the impact of many, many ho-hos. Dervish just starts backing up, also surveying his work.

-Dervish-

Well, it had to be done. Now I should probably be finding that marker…

-Bob-

Can you believe this, Jim? It’s down to two of the most destructive forces in the sport, against each other at last! And it all came down to their two finishers, on two different opponents. Muzzle with the ‘Shove It’ on Blitz, and Dervish with his ‘Behind You’ move on Hunter.

-Jim-

It certainly has turned out to be an exciting night of Rover Deathmatch action, Bob. But I can’t help but think that we’re forgetting something…

The camera switches back to the center of the arena, where Dervish and Muzzle are both slowly backing up, shaking their heads at the carnage in the ring. Eventually, they back straight into each other. At this, both Canos freeze and tense.

-Muzzle-

Hey Derv, that’s you, right?

-Dervish-

That it is…I suppose we have to fight each other now, huh?

-Muzzle-

I guess we do. Well, that’s what we teamed up for in the first place, isn’t it?

-Dervish-

Well…yeah. How ‘bout we count to ten, then go at it.

-Muzzle-

Hey, fine with me. Let’s get it on!

Suddenly, a pair of hands reach down from the top of the screen to tap on both the Sheltie and the Rottweiler’s shoulders. Startled, the pair look straight up. The camera tilts upwards to show the grinning face of Star with a pair of ding-dongs in her hands. She’s somehow able to walk on the ceiling.

-Bob-

It’s Star! Oh, will the surprises never end?

-Jim-

I knew we were forgetting something. Or someone, to be more precise.

-Star-

Thought you had everybody taken care of, eh guys?

Both Muzzle’s and Dervish’s jaw drop open at what they are seeing. Star then promptly drops a snack food in each of their mouths. They immediately slide to the floor, still back-to-back. Star shakes her head and bends towards her shoes.

-Star-

Well, that wasn’t so hard. Now all I’ve gotta do is mark ‘em!

Star’s fingers find a button on her shoes. When she presses it, she starts falling from the ceiling, but she athletically does a flip and lands in a crouched position. She then goes on to hurriedly draw smiley faces on all the prone Rovers she can find.

-Jim-

Well, this has definitely been a night to remember, Bob. There’ve been a lot of firsts for the Rover Deathmatch tonight. We’ve never had a Battle Royal here before, for one. We’ve never seen this many finishers pulled off. It’s definitely been one of the fastest RD’s recorded, at…oh, it’s just going over the five minute mark now.

-Bob-

And don’t forget that it was won by a rookie! That’s a huge surprise, considering all the veteran talent that we had here. Now, let’s go back to the ring to see Star sign the last opponent’s forehead.

The cameras switch to show Star walking up to Ricky, who’s still just lying on the ground. Just as Star is about to mark him, however, he groans and sits up.

-Ricky-

Ooh, I’m going to be feeling that tomorrow…I’m also gonna get those two---Oh, hey there Star. How’s it going?

-Star-

Oh, it’s going just fine. Here, let me help you up.

Star holds out her hand. When Ricky takes it, her other hand comes around with a ding-dong in it, smashing it into the top of his hand and knocking him out once more. Star lets go of his hand, letting him fall back to the floor, wipes off her own hand, and then marks his forehead with the Golden Marker. Once the flash of light is over, all the combatants in the room suddenly flash out of existence. The camera switches over to a room, where all the Rovers are sitting on couches and chairs in front of a big screen TV. All of them are conscious and relaxing after the brutal fight that just went on. Some look angry, some look happy, some just look normal. When the big TV comes on, however, they all turn their attention towards it. On the TV are Bob and Jim, from the announcers booth.

-Jim-

Excellent job, Rovers! You’ve just completed the fight, with Star coming out the winner!

-Bob-

Now, of course, is the time of the show where we go back and show the most memorable moments of the match, then show highlights for each of the combatants tonight. Now, let’s start off with the most memorable moments tonight! First off, right off the bat we had a memorable moment in Dervish and Muzzle teaming up against Ricky.

The screen shows the scene in slow motion. Everybody but Ricky laughs as they see him get pelted by 6 Twinkies and ho-hos.

-Ricky-

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Laugh it up.

-Jim-

Next, we had the rest of the team up between Derv and Muzzle. Nothing like this has ever been attempted in a Rover Deathmatch.

The screen shows the two charging and sliding and such.

-Bob-

Our next memorable moment came…well, see for yourself.

It shows Hunter and Huntress charging each other, and then subsequently tripped up by Dervish’s whip. Everybody winces.

-Jim-

Ouch…Well, our last memorable moment came in the final seconds of competition, when Star suddenly reappeared and gave Muzzle and Dervish, who thought they were the only two remaining combatants, the shock of a lifetime.

The screen shows the whole moment, with Star hanging from the ceiling, and the two guys shocked and all. Most of the Rovers chuckle at seeing this.

-Jim-

And that concludes this nights memorable moments!

-Bob-

Now let’s move on to the highlights. We’ll start off with Blitz. Blitz started off well, throwing a few snack foods, and only managing to get hit once.

The scene focuses on Blitz throughout the first melee of the night.

-Bob-

Then, quite wisely for this sort of match, he went and hid in a corner.

The screen shows the Doberman cowering in a secluded corner. Most of the Rovers chuckle at this.

-Bob-

Then, when the match was close to ending, Huntress came sliding in, forcing Blitz into action. He quickly pulled off his ‘Slash Rain’ finisher, but was then greeted by a Twinkie up the nose from Muzzle when he turned around.

All the while, the screen shows these actions.

-Jim-

Next up for highlights is Penny! And, since they have just about the same, and we’re running a bit short on time, we’ll group the two together. Both the fighters performed some athletic maneuvers in the initial melee, but both got hit once. Then, when the room was being demolished by the Dervish Cannon and the 7BTMG, both got hit again.

The screen shows some nice moves by Dylan and Penny, but also them getting hit twice.

-Jim-

Then, to put the icing on the cake, Spirit noticed them on either side of her, and finished them both off at once. All-in-all, not a very strong performance from these two rookies, but you must take into account the fact that they are rookies, and haven’t experienced anything like this before.

The TV is a split screen, showing both dogs being knocked cold by well placed shots from Spirit.

-Bob-

Now, let’s take a look at how Alethia did in this match.

The screen shows Alethia getting hit twice in the beginning by Muzzle.

-Bob-

Now, as you can see, things didn’t start off so well for Alethia. After getting hit twice from the 7BTMG, she ducked around a corner to wait for an opportunity to arise. The opportunity came when Jeff came barreling around a corner. She had the opportunity to hit him twice before he had the chance to throw the final Twinkie that finished her off.

The screen shows this whole scene, with most of the Rovers nodding their heads in approval.

-Jim-

Jeff is our next highlight Rover. He started out very strong, dodging all the initial projectiles, and managing to hit both Penny and Blitz!

The TV shows Jeff running, dodging and throwing through the worst of the initial melee. Most of the Rovers are quite impressed with the moves displayed.

-Jim-

Then came a huge surprise hit on Spirit from behind. This caused Spirit to lose all interest in Star for the time being and chase after Jeff. He was chased behind a corner, where he was caught off guard by Alethia, and was hit by two projectiles before getting off a shot at her, which subsequently hit for the KO. With his mind off of his pursuit, he was easy pickings for Spirit, who followed him and knocked him out.

The screen shows the hit on Spirit, followed by the whole fight with Alethia, before showing him being taken out easily by Spirit from behind.

-Bob-

The next Rover to be highlighted tonight is Huntress, who had a fairly strong showing here tonight. She started off by running around a corner, missing out on most of the initial melee. Once the fighting had gotten mostly out of the center of the room, she ran out to try and take out Muzzle and Dervish.

The TV shows Huntress using her super speed to run around the corner, and then running back out to try and get Muzz and Derv.

-Bob-

She initially scored one hit on Dervish, but on a close pass with Muzzle, she got nailed in the side. This didn’t hinder her much, however, as she kept up her running, even scoring a hit on her brother Hunter, until being tripped up by Dervish.

The scene is the one where she gets tripped up. All the Rovers wince again.

-Bob-

After sliding headfirst into a wall, she was quickly taken out of the competition by Blitz’s ‘Slash Rain.’

The screen shows Huntress, shocked, as she’s finished off by Blitz.

-Jim-

Next up is Hunter, who also had a fairly strong showing here today. In the beginning, he used the same tactic as his sister, using his super speed to get himself out of harm’s way during the initial shootout. However, he did take the time to score one hit on Dylan before going behind the corner.

The TV shows Hunter throwing a cupcake at Dylan as he’s running by.

-Jim-

Later he and his sister both used their super speed to run rings around Muzzle and Dervish in the center. Hunter scored a hit on Muzzle before he spotted Spirit taking aim from a ways away. He used his speed some more to go head-to-head with Spirit, each of them scoring a hit when all was said and done. After that brief exchange, he saw an opportunity to take out his sister, so he ran straight at her. After hitting her once, we all know what happened…

The big screen shows the whole scene. The showdown with Spirit, the hit on Muzzle, and the eventual trip-up. Once again, all the Rovers wince as they see the two speed demons taken off of their feet.

-Jim-

After getting up and thinking he had Dervish finished, he discovered that in fact he was finished. Dervish’s ceiling mounted Gattling gun sealed his fate from there.

The TV shows Hunter about to throw a cupcake at Derv, when he figures out that he’s done for via the Gattling gun. All of the Rovers ‘Oooo’ or ‘ouch’ as they see Hunter get blasted by the gun.

-Bob-

Our next highlights come from none other than Ricky. He really didn’t have a chance to get things going today. One bad comment set the two dogs with guns against him. Let’s see the moment in slow motion!

All the Rovers, except Ricky, laugh as they see the slow-motion replay of Ricky getting pelted. Ricky just looks annoyed.

-Bob-

But, that incident almost turned out to be his savior, as he woke up from unconsciousness before everybody else. He came back to the land of the living just as Star was about to mark him with the Golden Marker. Trusting her enough to let her help him to his feet was his downfall, however, as Star mashed a ding-dong into his hand, knocking him out for good.

That whole scene is replayed on the TV. Most of the audience snickers through the whole thing.

-Jim-

We’re down to the last four highlights of the evening! Next we have Spirit, who had an excellent showing here tonight. She started off by dodging a huge barrage of Twinkies and ho-hos, and then following it up by taking out both Dylan and Penny at the same time!

That scene replays itself on the TV.

-Jim-

Star, thinking she had an advantage here, decided to try and hit Spirit, but Spirit had it well scouted. She backflipped, then managed to hit Star once before she dodged around a corner. Unfortunately, Spirit was then hit from behind by Jeff, who she subsequently chased and finished off.

That scene plays for the Rovers.

-Jim-

Thinking to take out Muzzle, Dervish, and whoever else she could, Spirit was set to snipe out all the competition when Hunter spotted her and forced her into a one-on-one fight. After trading blows, Spirit was catching her breath when Star hit her from behind, while on the ceiling! And that, as they say, was it.

All of this plays itself out on TV.

-Bob-

Now up for highlights is Dervish! He started out by taking out Ricky with his Dervish Cannon. Afterwards, we thought he and Muzzle were going to take each other out, when Dervish slid under Muzzle to form an impromptu team! They both scattered the competition, Dervish hitting both Dylan and Blitz.

This scene is showed on the TV.

-Bob-

Later, while being harassed by Hunter and Huntress, he only managed to waste ammunition. But, when he saw the two siblings charging each other, he took the initiative and tripped them up with his whip.

The TV shows this scene again. More wincing from the Rovers.

-Bob-

Afterwards, he decided to take on Hunter. Showing his usual disregard for urgency, he stopped Hunter in his tracks and pulled out the remote. After a quick button push, the Dervish dropped the leader of the pack, Hunter, with his ‘Behind You’ maneuver.

The screen shows that whole scene. Lots of ‘ouches’ and such from the audience.

-Bob-

After that, he backed into Muzzle, who he thought to be the only remaining threat, and after agreeing to start in 10 seconds, was brought down by a surprise attack from Star.

All this plays out on the big screen.

-Jim-

Second to last for highlights is Muzzle! He basically had the same highlights as Dervish did. As you can see with these clips, he was quite accurate in hitting Ricky, Alethia and Penny. He also managed to score a hit on Huntress.

The screen shows all of these feats.

-Jim-

But, he proved that he wasn’t just out to copy Dervish in the end, slapping his ‘Shove It’ maneuver on Blitz in the end.

As this is shown, most of the Rovers chuckle.

-Jim-

But in the end, Star’s sneak attack on him brought about doom.

Of course, this too is shown on screen.

-Bob-

And lastly, let’s take a look at the highlights for our champion, Star! She started out fairly well, dodging the initial barrage of snack-foods, and then managing to get into a good firing position against Spirit. This of course backfired, and as she ran to safety around a corner, she was hit once. Thankfully for her, everything turned out OK, as Spirit forgot about her for the time being, and as she found the hidden Golden Marker!

Clips of these actions are shown to the crowd.

-Bob-

Next, in a burst of inspiration, she used her special magnetic shoes to climb the walls and stay out of sight on the ceiling. This surprising tactic allowed her to score the final hit on Spirit, and of course shock the last two male combatants and score the knock outs.

The big TV shows all of this.

-Bob-

After KOing Dervish and Muzzle, she detached herself from the ceiling and went on to mark all the fallen Rovers’ foreheads with the Golden Marker. But, a last challenge came when the last Rover to be marked, Ricky, reawakened from being hit in the first stages of the match. But Star outwitted him in the end, smashing a ding-dong into his hand and marking him, making her tonight’s Rover Deathmatch Battle Royal Champion!

The Rovers all show their sportsmanship and give Star a round of applause. Star is then suddenly zapped out of the room for a post-fight interview.

-Jim-

Now, before we go, let’s just hear the final thoughts from our champion, Shooting Star McGermanShepherd! Star?

-Star-

Right here, Jim.

-Jim-

Well Star, how do you feel about winning tonight's battle royal?

-Star-

Darn right proud Jimmy!

-Jim-

Don't call me Jimmy…

-Star-

Whatever...now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go celebrate with a happy dance.

-Bob-

Well, there you have it! Star is off to do a celebratory happy dance, and we’re desperately out of time. But we’d just like to congratulate all the combatants here tonight for making it a night to remember! We’ll see you next week, right here on Rover Deathmatch!

End credits play, with awesome rock music in the background.

Oh. I suppose I’m supposed to do all that credit info here, huh? And the legal formalities? Well, I’ll do my best.

Writer, director, actor, ummm…producer, boom-mike operator, etc. – Me! Dervish Vagabond. (If you wanna know who I really am, go somewhere else for now. =))

Special thanks, and ending interview – Star (Yeah, I could use her real name…but I don’t want to. =))

Well…actually…I guess I have to put down everyone’s name, huh? Oh well. =)

Hunter and Blitz © WB animation, yadda yadda yadda. If you want to know more about that, go to some page’s disclaimer. However, the Hunter I know is © Ummmm…Nathan Johnson, I think. And Blitz is © Alex Martinez.

Am I forgetting anyone? Lemme go check…Nope, I guess not. =)

Oh, wait! NTR, inc. is © Me! I made it! Whoo hoo! But, you all can use it to sponsor events of mindless brutality of your own. =)

There we go. Now, just to tell you, I don’t know if any of these people have actually gone out and copyrighted these names, (‘cept WB…) but I seriously doubt it. That’s just something I’ve been meaning to say. But, even though they aren’t actually copyrighted by the government, you still can’t use them without permission. ~Derv suddenly remembers that he never got permission~ Aw crap! I forgot to get everyone’s permission! Well, that’s OK for now. I really don’t think anybody would mind having their character involved in a story. I really don’t. But, I’ll ask anyway.

Well, back to the point. The lesson we have learned here is that you shouldn’t go not-really-copyrighted-but-still-in-a-sense-are-copyrighted-copyright-infringing. =) You just shouldn’t. So there.

Okay. Ummm…I was going to say something just now…but I forgot what it was…Oh yeah. All names, situations, and all that stuff is of my creation (unless it was created by someone else) and was not meant to do any bad stuff. It wasn’t meant to hurt any feelings, or get off any sort of point at all. It was just meant to entertain. So, go back and have a good laugh. =)

You can’t go around selling this to anybody. I…Ah…I…ummm…I really don’t know why, but you can’t. You can copy it, or print it and show it to your friends, but you can’t make a profit off of it. Unless you send that profit to me! =) Naw, I don’t think that’s legal. Aw, who knows…

Oh, it seems everyone else has some sort of quotes at the bottom of the story. I guess I’ll go along with that tradition too. (Am I a lemming or what? =))

"Your hair’s all…poofy." "Yeah, but it’s managable poofy." –Me and my friend James-

"It’s amazing how many of the Japanese military spoke fluent English while on duty…" –Me, watching a WW2 navy movie-

Well, there ya go. I really don’t have any more quotes. I can’t think of any, at least. Oh well…

Okay. Thanks for reading this story of mine. I appreciate it. Well, that’s all I suppose.

Oh, I almost forgot: Let’s all have a moment of silence for the firing of one of the greatest in the sport of professional wrestling, Stone Cold Steve Austin. ~moment goes by~ There. He’d better be back soon! =)

The end. Really. Go away. Shoo. ~Derv watches as you just sit there~ GO! I have stuff to do! ~nothing happens~ Oh for goodness sakes. ~Derv comes over and pushes you out the door~ Good bye! =)