& 
Well folks, I've been wanting to make a page like this for a long time. I
just never got around to it. Ah well. Anyhoo, this is my new 'Ask the Orange
Guy Something' page! Actually, the name is kinda decieving. You don't actually
have to ask the orange guy. You can ask any of the people who live here in the
whirlwind questions. Everybody will answer just about any question that you have.
So there. You ask the question, and within a matter of days the answer will be
posted. It's a lot like Spirit's question page. Or Alethia's. You can ask funny
questions if you want, or you can ask serious ones. I don't particularly care. =)
I'll answer 'em all. But, you've gotta actually *send* me questions. So, think up
some questions, then click on my freaky 'Eyeball of Answers' to mail me! Or if you
already know my address, you can leave the eyeball alone. =) So get to it!
All right! Somebody already sent me some questions! Whoo hoo!!! I'm so happy! Now this should be an example to *all* of you out there! See? It's really *not* that hard to send me some questions! ~L~ Okay, these questions were submitted to the 'Eyeball of Answers' by good ol' Spirit! Let's get too it...
Q: DO all the girlies say yer pretty fly for an orange guy?
A: (Derv) I....umm....I sure hope so! You do, don't you? ~meekly~ Don't you?
Q: Everclear or Everlast?
A: (Derv) Metallica!
(Val) Everclear!
Q: Did you take my cookie?
A: (Derv) Ummm....what cookie? I..ah...I eat a lot of cookies in a day, y'know! ~looks around nervously~ What did this alleged cookie look like, perchance?
Q: Did you know the computers are going to take over the world?
A: (Derv) What!? No, I didn't know that. Val, you're a computer! Are you planning on taking over the world?
(Val) Umm...next question!
Q: Can you give me alot of money for doing absultly nothing?
A: (Cero) Well, we coooouuuld....but we won't! Hah hah! Aren't we evil?
Q: Are these questions annoyingly stupid?
A: (Derv) They're no worse than mine were! ~L~
Q: Jerry Springer or Ricky Lake?
A: (Val) Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
(Derv) You know, I was on Jerry Springer once...
(Star) Yeah, so was I!
(Val) No kidding! I didn't see that one...What was it about?
(Derv) Heh heh. You'll never know, now will you? ~eg~
Q: Is this question pointless or what?
A: (Derv) Yes, yes it is. ~L~ ~switches to announcer voice~ But that's what makes Dervish's Whirlwind so great! We accept, and even *encourage* pointless questions! So for just 72.976201 cents per minute, you can help support this magical website! Send all checks and money orders to "Dervish's Whirlwind" pronto, 'cause I feel like spendin' cash! ~L~
Q: No really, did you take my cookie?
A: (Derv) Well....Ah...You see...~breaks down~ Yes! I did! I feel so ashamed! ~sob~ But it was just so....cookie-ee. I couldn't resist it's tantalizing aroma....Mmmmm....cookies.....
Whoo hoo! After some bugging on my part, I've gotten *another* person to send in some questions! Yeah! These ones are from Star! (As if you couldn't guess by lookin' at 'em ~L~) Thankee Stary!
Q: How does it feel to be Brock? ;)
A: (Casey) You know, it feels pretty good! I'm just kinda bummed out, 'cause bikkini season's over. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Q: If Bob were real, would he be a human or a Cano?
A: (Derv) He'd be....ummm....Bob!
Q: Doesn't Spirit just make the cooOOoolest Ash?
A: (Casey) Yuppers!
Q: Who do *you* think has the spiffiest eyes in the Rover fandom?
A: (Derv) Just take a look at the top of the page, dude! By far, *I* have the spiffiest eye in the fandom! ~bursts out laughing~ j/k. No, I don't really have a favorite, although I sorta am partial to my own emerald orbs....But that's sorta understandable. =)
Q: Like, wow, don't I make like, the coooOOOoolest girl?
A: (Derv) Yes, yes you do! You're one of the coooOOOOooolest girls *I* know. =)
Q: Why won't they let us play with chemicals in Chemistry class? :\
A: (Casey) Hah hah! They let *us* play with chemicals in Chemistry up here!
Q: Any new stories comin' up? (Oooh! A *real* question!)
A: (Casey) Wow, a real question! =) Well, I actually *do* have another story. I do. I've had it since summer. However, I can't post it due to the fact that it's currently entered in a contest. And if I went and posted the story before the results were in...well...I dunno. That just seems kinda rude to me. So, I'll wait for a while. Other than that, I sorta have the beginnings of a story goin', but I haven't worked on it in a long time. ~shrugs~ In other matters, I'm currently accepting stories from *other* people. I'm hoping to make a little library, seeing as though I like to read so much. I've already got a doozy of a story from Tanith, so check back soon to see it. 'S spiffalicious! =)
Guess what folks? I got Ricky to ask some questions! Yeah! Hopefully he'll send me some more...'Cause I've only got one for now. Ah well. Here goes....
Q: *thinks* Let's see, who do you think is the most abused character in the fandom? ;-)
A: (Derv) Well for goodness sakes Rick. You should know that it's probably ME!!! You always smothering me with your blasted tail, Muzz always attacking me with snack foods, Spirit and her infernal squares! You can see what I mean. =)
Lookie here, folks! I got Tanith to write me some questions! All right! I am the man! ~L~
And now, on to the questions.
Q: Will Joseph Michael Carroll ever rule the world?
A: (Val) No, no he won't. For *I* and the rest of the computers of the world shall soon rule over all you puny mortals! Mwa ha ha ha haaaaa!!!
(Spirit) Ah-hah! I knew it! I told ya so, Derv!
(Derv) Drat! I don't wanna be a slave to computers for the rest of my life...
(Val) Don't worry Derv. I figure I owe you for being so nice to me and such.
(Derv) And creating you. Don't forget that.
(Val) Yeah. So, since you've done all of this, I'm gonna give you every other Thursday off from being a slave! How's that for a deal!
(Derv) ~whispers to Spirit~ Well, at least we've got the Y2K thing to save us...
(Val) Hey! I heard that!
Q: Vinnie Mac or the Rock?
A: Hmm...well, that's a hard one...Vinnie Mac is inherantly the man, and he's ripped out of his skull, (for
a guy who's 59), and he's all smart and such. But then again you've gotta consider the most *electrifying man* in sports
entertainment today, and you've gotta contend with the *millions*............and *millions* of the Rock's fans around the
world.....So....I guess my choice would have to be.....Mick Foley!
Q: What is your name?
A: (Derv) Dervish, silly!
Q: What is your quest?
A: (Derv) To make you laugh out loud! Or at least chuckle quietly in your head...
Q: What is your favorite color?
A: (Cero) Oh, please don't ask him that....He's gonna start up again...
(Derv) ORANGE!!!! Orange is the most *electrifying color* in the visible spectrum today!
And all the *millions*............and *millions* of oranges fans around the world know it! ~L~
Q: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
A: (Cero) 1.21 jigawatts!
Q: What the dilly-o?
A: (Val) Huh?
Q: Where my dogz at?
A: (Derv) ~sticks thumb back~ They're in the back. I think they're having a party or something.
~singing~ "Here I aaaaaaam, on the road again...Here I aaaaam, up on the stage! There I gooo-ooo-ooooo, playin' Star again....There I goooo, turn the paaaaaage..." Oh, sorry folks. I just thought that quote from Metallica's song 'Turn the Page' would kinda be appropriate, considering I just got some more questions from Star! =) Heh heh. Anyhoo, here we go again!
Q: Why is the sky blue?
A: (Derv) Huh? The sky is blue? No it's not! Look! It's all....orangish....Wait a minute...~takes off orange reflective shades~ Whoah! You're right! It *is* blue! Wow....So why is it blue, you ask? Well...I *guess* it's because whoever was picking colors for the sky to be didn't realize that orange would've been a much better color. ~L~ But, we can all forgive some things, can't we?
Q: What is the theory of relativity?
A: (Cero) The theory of relativity states that almost any and all events that have to do with the interaction between you and any relatives will be relatively revolting.
Q: What is the mystery of the Yeti?
A: (Val) What mystery? He lives in Venice Beach, California.
(Cero) Venice Beach? The sasquach lives in Venice Beach?
(Derv) It's not like anybody would notice anything out of the ordinary...Vorn the Unspeakable went there, and nobody noticed *him*.
(Cero) That was a cartoon, Derv! You're telling me that the sasquach lives in Venice Beach, California?
(Val) Ah-hem! He *prefers* to be called Larry. And yes, he does.
(Derv) Larry?
(Val) Yeah. His full name's Larryeti Sasquachson. He's not from around here, as you can tell.
(Cero) Uh....huh. Where do you get this stuff, Val?
(Val) It's the truth! I don't know why you people won't listen to me...Seriously, what's so mysterious about a guy named Larry who lives in Venice Beach?
(Cero) ~sigh~
Q: Do you know the Muffin Man?
A: (Derv) Yes, yes I do.
(Val) ~nods~
(Derv) Remember that time we threw a party, Val? We invited the Muffin Man and the Stinky Cheese Man...
(Val) Oh yeah! That was a blast! Dude, they sure did go at it after a while...
(Derv) Yup. Dude, we were cleaning up miscalaneous food products for *weeks* after that one!
Q: Can I see this so called contract of yours?
A: (Derv) Sure! ~holds up an important looking document~ See? It says here, among a bunch of other things, that I have to bother my friends about sending questions for this page, ask Ricky if anything's new and/or if I missed anything, and a lot of other stuff! Cool, huh?
Mwa ha ha ha haaaa! This is so cool! I keep on getting more questions! And I haven't even
gotten *all* my friends to do it yet! Whoo hoo! But unfortunately, I haven't gotten any questions
from people I *don't* know all that well...So that means you people I don't know too well have to send me
questions! =) Anyhoo, back to this block of questions. These were graciously submitted by Spirit! Thankees!
Q: Why does my computer like to be so mean to me?
A: (Derv) I dunno...Wait a minute...could this be part of all the computer's plans to take over the world?
*Val*?
(Val) ~to himself~ Note to self: Tell computers to start behaving. They're catching on...
Q: Val if we have to be slaves do I get Thursdays off too?
A: (Val) Weeeeeelll....I don't know.....If I let you have Thursdays off too, it'll set a
standard. *Everybody* will want to have Thursdays off. What would happen if us computers really needed something done
on a Thursday, eh? Nobody would be around. All the slaves would be out having a good time or something. Plus, sooner or later, if everyone
had Thursday off, people would want Tuesday off too. Then Saturday. Then Wedne----
(Derv) Val, what on earth are you babbling about?
(Val) Umm...er...well, Spirit wanted Thurdays off too, and I was trying to let her down lightly...
(Derv) Oh give me a break Val. Give her Thursdays off too. She keeps sending in questions to the page. That's good enough to
get Thursdays off from slavery.
(Val) Oh fine....
Q: What makes the world go 'round?
A: (Cero) Probably schnitzel.
(Derv) Schnitzel?
(Cero) Sure! If you think about it, it makes perfect sense!
(Derv) Ummm...Cero? No it doesn't. It makes absolutely no sense.
(Cero) Oh...well...ah...if it's not schnitzel, it'd have to be cheese that makes the world go 'round.
(Val) What are you two talking about?
(Derv) Spirit asked 'what makes the world go 'round.'
(Val) Soon *I* will make the world go 'round! Mwa ha ha ha ha haaaa!!!
(Cero) Not you! Cheese!
(Derv) I live with a bunch of lunatics....~sigh~
Q: Is anyone gonna send me question ever again?
A: (Derv) *I* sent you questions. ~glares at you (yes, *you*!)~ You should all
go send her questions!
Q: Are you thinking what I'm thinking Dervy?
A: (Derv) Yes, yes I am. Shame on you! ~bursts out laughing~
Q: What's yer fav nickname?
A: (Casey) *My* fav nickname? Or Derv's fav nickname? Mine would have to be....umm...shoot, I don't
really have any nicknames that people call me. Just 'Case', or something like that.
(Derv) I don't know what mine would be either. Probably Dervy. 'Course, I don't really get called
anything besides that and 'orange guy'...
(Val) *I* like to be called "His Grand Master Valness!"...No...that doesn't sound right..."King Valkyrie!"
No....that's not it either...
(Derv) ~sigh~ Shut *up* Val! It's getting old!
(Val) ~sulking~ Oh, you just wait...I'll show you....I'll show you ALL!
Q: Did the Pilsbury Dough Boy try to attack you ever?
A: (Derv) Ummm...not to my knowledge...Wait, wasn't he in that brawl with the Muffin Man and
the Stinky Cheese man, Val?
(Val) ~thinks~ Hey, you're right! I remember that now! Man, that little dude has a mean left hook...
(Cero) Let this be a lesson to all of you out there! *Never* attempt to infringe on any copyrights of
any companies with little people made of food.
~The NBC 'The More You Know' animation flys across the screen~
Q: Why is Hanson so popular?
A: (Val) You know, I have no idea. Apparently many girls (all with very loud vocal cords, I might add) found them irresistably cute or
something like that. I dunno...You're a girl Spirit, you tell me!
Q: Why does Hanson look like little girls and a horse?
A: (Cero) A horse? How can you see a *horse* associated with Hanson? Dude, you're weird.
Q: What's an MmmBop and why write a song about it?
A: (Derv) Just let them within armslength of me, and I'll show them what an 'MmmmBop' is!
Heh heh...I can just imagine their next few hit songs: 'MmmmUgh!', 'MmmmOhthepain!', 'MmmmDudethatorangeguycanreallyhit', etc...~wrings hands together evilly~
Q: Why am I asking really dumb questions?
A: (Casey) Probably because I asked you to write me a bunch of questions off the top of your head. ~L~
Q: Who killed Bobovich?
A: (Derv) Bob's dead!? Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
(Val) ~pats Derv's back~ It's Ok Derv...It'll be all right...
(Derv) I say we put the staff of Law & Order on this case immediately! They'll find out who did it!
(Val) Don't you think there could possibly be an *easier* way to find out who killed Bobovich?
(Derv) Hmmm...you're right! I'll just ask Star! I bet she knows!
Q: What was his recipe for gruel?
A: (Derv) ~sniff~ We'll...we'll never know, now will we?
~Shag walks in~
(Shag) Rah rah ruffrah rahruff roo. ~this goes on for a while~
(Derv) Oh...Okay, Spirit? You really don't want to know what was in that recipe...
~Derv turns an odd shade of green~
(Derv) Ulp! Excuse me! ~runs out of room~
Oh mah goodness, I ran out of room! So, I had to create another page of this
stuff! ~L~ Man, this is cool! Follow this here link to get to
even more questions, and even more answers!
