YOU'D THINK I'D STOP HAVING TO DO THESE
's & 's

I think I'm gona give the honor of starting off page five (~!~) of my Q&A section to that wonder from downunder...the man himself...Cobber! Take it away, dude.

Q: What is this sudden infatuation with a fuzzy yellow monster that only says his name?
A: (Derv) Y'know, I honestly couldn't tell you...People should be infatuated with the singing puff....

Q: If a phone rings in the middle of a forest and there was no-one there to pick it up, did it really ring?
A: (Val) Sure! I mean, somebody had to dial the number. And as long as the ringer wasn't broken, it rang.
(Derv) ~ahem~ That's not the answer, Val. I think the answer he was lookin' for was, "Yes. There was an answering machine." ~sly grin~ I'm one of two, baby! ~laughs~ OK, so none of you but Cobb probably get that...oh well. Your loss.

Q: When space and time collide, can I still borrow twenty bucks from ya?
A: (Derv) It all depends on whether I've spent all of my money on shows, my friend. ~nods slowly and grins~

Q: Queen to A3. Checkmate, uh... mate.
A: (Cero) ....~scowls~ Blast! Of all the games to lose at...You must've cheated!

Q: Opinion's on life? All?
A: (Derv) Life is short, then you die.
(Talia) What kind of advice is that!?
(Val) ...Didn't I see that somewhere before?
(Star) Yeah! That's *MY* quote!
(Derv) No it's not! Yours is 'Life sucks, then you die.' At least that's what I remember.
(Talia) In either case, that's not the kind of insight we're supposed to be giving...
(Derv) ~holds up in a calming manner~ OK, OK! Yeesh...Calm down, Hawk. How about this: "Life is good...unless it's not."
(Val) ~claps~ Bravo!
(Talia) ~sighs and puts her head in her hands~ Oh, I had to be rooming with a bunch of loons...

Q: Were you suckered in to believing that Mic Brumby was actually Australian? ~Points finger and starts laughing~ HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA!!!
A: (Cero) Umm....No? I don't know...
(Val) You don't actually watch JAG, do you?
(Cero) No, not really. Well, neither do you, Val!
(Val) ....Good point.
(Cero) ~blinks~ Are we even sure this Mic Brumby guy is from JAG?
(Val) ....No. I sure *hope* he is, otherwise this whole sketch is gonna seem pretty lame.
(Cero) Like it isn't already.
(Val) Touche.

Q: ~ahem~ woo boy...
A: (Cero and Val) ~smile and nod, pretending the last sketch is quickly forgotten~

Q: Healthy food... Complete the rest.
A: (Derv) Healthy food should be utterly destroyed! DESTROYED!!!
(Talia) ~gives Derv a look~ ....~shakes her head~ Healthy food isn't as good as...well...*good* food.
(Cero) Healthy food never ever tastes good.
(Val) I never even have to eat!
(Cero) What does that have to do with anything?
(Val) ~shrugs~...I thought I'd let the audience figure it out.

Q: South Park peeples? Crude or funny?
A: (Talia) Crude *AND* funny!

Q: OK, enlighten this Aussie here. Just who is Jerry Springer?
A: (Derv) ~gapes in shock~ You've *NEVER* heard of Jerry Springer?! Oh my...
(Val) Wow...that's like, amazing. 'Course, I can't really say you Australians are particularly *deprived*...
(Derv) As long as they get Talk Soup, they're OK. ~nod~ Anyway, Jerry Springer is...well...he's got this show. And this show just happens to have...well...basically the trash of America on it every day. You know...prostitutes, transvestites, KKK, prostitutes, love polygons---
(Val) Love polygons?
(Derv) Yes, you heard me correctly. Love *polygons* I could've said 'Love triangles,' but that wouldn't have covered everything. They've got everything from love triangles all the way up to...I think the max I saw was a love hexagon once. ~shrugs~ Need I go further?

Q: How can you see David Letterman as funny? The show's on at 1:00am over here with NO charm at all!
A: (Talia) Letterman's not terrible, but he's not great either. Neither is Leno.
(Derv) If you want *quality* late-night comedy, you've gotta watch Conan O'Brian. ~snickers~ He's just freakin' *kewl*...

Q: Have any of you gotten dressed up in an Austin Powers outfit?
A: (Talia) ~rolls her eyes~ You've never been to one of Derv's parties, have you?

Q: Prozac is the happy pill.
A: (Cero) Why yes. Yes it is.

Q: Do you like scary movies, Sidney?
A: (Val) Sidney's in Australia! It's a city!
(Cero) Oh shut up, Val.

Q: If Derv ever changed colours for some bizarro reason, what would it be?
A: (Derv) ~thinks about it for a second~ Hmm....well, I'm assuming it would be kinda weird. I mean, I'm kinda...well...orange 'n' white.
(Talia) I think he meant 'what color would you change into?' (Val) I just can't get past the fact that he spells 'color' with a 'u'...
(Derv) That's because we Americans are unsophisticated slobs, Val. Everybody outside the U.S. knows that. We're to 'backward' to use a 'U'. ~snickers~
(Val) Oooh...
(Derv) Anyhoo...I don't really know what color I'd be. It'd make an interesting story, though... ~nudgenudge, winkwink~

Q: What colour is Val? Technically.
A: (Val) There's that 'U' again!
(Talia) ~sighs and rolls her eyes~ Oh for goodness sakes. Just answer the question, Val.
(Val) Fine...~thinks~ Well, I don't know...What color am I? Hmm....Well, in holographic form, I'm black and white. Out of holographic form...well...I suppose I'm kinda...well...It's hard to explain, really. You don't really pay attention to what color you are when your consciousness is spread over a giant network. ~shrugs~

Q: To be, or not to be.
A: (Cero) That's the question, isn't it.
(Derv) ~holds up an empty can of Dew~ To Dew, or not to Dew, that is the question!
(Cero) Wow...that's...just...~blinks~ Wow. You really don't know your epic poetry, do you Derv?
(Derv) ...Um....I named the can Horatio. Does that make things a little better?
(Cero) ~shakes head~ Hoo boy...I didn't think this could get any worse...
(Derv) ~looks proud~ You can never think that around me! Wait....

Q: Drinks. Dew, Dew or Dew?
A: (Talia) Oh no...
(Derv) Hmm....~ponders for a second~ Hey, how about *three* Dews!

Q: How come all world leaders must have some defect somewhere? Mine's short and bald, yours... well...you know?
A: (Val) Oh, I don't know...I don't really think he's got a real *defect*, per say...
(Talia) Don't even go there, Val. Well, the world will never know I guess.

Q: If I'm riding a horse, what food should I bring?
A: (Derv) Bring some canned olives.
(Cero) Huh?
(Derv) Hey dude, you *never know* when you might want some canned olives.

Q: Why are floppy disks actually quite stiff?
A: (Val) So the people of Albania can watch their Leave it to Beaver. ~grins~

Q: How did the word 'spiffy' originate?
A: (Talia) Umm...~thinks about it for a second~ Well shoot. I don't know...Probably some drunk college students.

Q: Can I have that twenty bucks now?
A: (Derv) Well...Fine. I'll have those twenty bucks shipped down there as soon as I can.
(Val) I dunno, Derv. Do you think they'll really thrive down there?
(Derv) ~shrugs~ I'm sure he'll find a way. He wanted them, after all. ~grins~ You've got yourself some healthy new deer to look out for, Cobb my man! Hope you're up to the challenge. They need lots of water, and trees, and grass, and attention, etc. ~sly grin~

Holy shnikes! Out of the blue, I just recieved some questions from Dawny! Whoo! No bugging or anything on my part. ~smiles~ All right! Well, let's get to it.

Q: Should I *really* be asking questions at exactly 1:47 AM in the morning?
A: (Talia) Oh heck yeah! That's when the *good* questions come out. ~grins~

Q: Too bad, I am, you know why?
A: (Cero) Uh....No? Why's that?

Q: ~moves on and changes subject~ My tail is FLUFFIER! Yours is FUZZY! So there!
A: (Cero) ~grumblegrumble~
(Derv) Hmm...Well, let's just make sure now, shall we? ~grins, then pets his own tail~ Fuzzy! ~pets Dawn's tail~ Hmm...Fluffy! ~pets his own tail once more~ Fuzzy... ~pets Dawn's tail again, and thinks something (Inside joke ;))~ Fluffy! Hee hee...~promptly gets smacked by Dawn~ Heeey! ~while grinning~ What'd I do?

Q: That wasn't a question. I told ya, it's 1:49 AM now. Anyhoo, when are me and Star gonna get a Nakey Sheltie, hhhmmm? ;)
A: (Cero, Val and Talia) ~all raise an eyebrow~
(Derv) Uh...~blinks, and looks around nervously~ Umm....Next question?

Q: Blitz told me that men are weak against a woman winking, is dat true?
A: (Val) Well...sometimes. Usually only if the guy's got the ho--~is cut off as Derv clamps his muzzle shut~
(Derv) Uh...ah...we...uh...can't give away all our secrets, right Val?

Q: ~winks~
A: (Derv) ~sighs dreamily~
(Talia, Val, and Cero) ~snicker~

Q: How come Obi-Wan gets pissed off when I tug on his braid?
A: (Val) Probably because it *HURTS*!

Q: What kind of Pokemon are you?
A: (Derv) I'd say, "Jigglypuff", but I'd probably get kicked out of the fandom...

Q: Who broke the Padawan this time?
A: (Everyone) ~blinkblink~ Huh?

Q: Why is KidsWB making Batman sing the Jigglypuff song, and have Superman dress up like Ash? Isn't that so wrong and funny at the same time?
A: (Cero) It's just demeaning and off-beat enough to be absolutely hilarious.

Q: Do you know that Lea Salonga has the prettiest voice? ^_^
A: (Val) Yep! That she does!

Q: Would you like to lay *DOWN* on the couch? ;) Pppfftt!
A: (Derv) Pfft! ~laughs~ Hey, I'd love to! But...I'm not sure Muzz would like it too much. ~winks~

Q: Am I really loved around here, or am I being asked to stay for different reasons? Hhhmm??
A: (Derv) Naw, we luv ya 'round here!
(Val) ~snickers~ Derv's just saying that to get some 'different reasons' for himself.
(Derv) Shut UP, Val! ~smacks Val upside the head~ Am not!

Q: Amira wants to know if she can bite your tushie.
A: (Derv, Cero, and Talia) ~all shake their heads~
(Cero) But uh...you can bite *Val's* tushie! ~points at Val, who isn't paying any attention to this question~
(Val) Huh? ~blinks in surprise as Amira starts advancing towards him with a weird look in her eyes~ Wh-what are you d-doing Ami? Huh? Aaaaaah!!!! ~starts running away in terror as Amira begins to dash towards him~

Q: I'm gonna shutup now, okay?
A: (Talia) No, no yer not. ~grins~

Q: Amira still wants to bite a tush.
A: (Talia) See? I was right! ~laughs~
~in the background Val is still being chased by Amira~